I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
