I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
