he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
