their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
