i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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