Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
please come you make the beer taste better
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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