Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
