i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there was a trapeze. enough said
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
