are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
