I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize