Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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