so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
