oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
