I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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