Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Randomize
