Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
