he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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