operation have a gay friend backfired
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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