he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
