She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
