Non-Jews are for practice
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we're so committed to being not committed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
