It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
