Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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