***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
