That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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