i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
