i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
