fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
