Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
