Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
