...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
