Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
