trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
