It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
