so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
