omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
