Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
tell me about the eggs
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
