people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
