Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize