The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Found your dick twin last night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
