Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
