Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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