I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
