Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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