hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
