at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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