Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
