i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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