I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fuck appropriateness.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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