can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
