I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
