Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
