so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
