I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
