the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
