She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize