I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize