Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
