Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
