dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
